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What agents say/what they (we) eeally mean:

One of the parts of the job that no one really sees is writing up property details. If you look at properties regularly then you will start to realise that agents (and I am not excluding myself here) begin to repeat terms that then have become associated with the residential property industry.

What Agents say/What they (we) Really mean:

Boasts  Has
Benefits from – Has
Comprises of – Has
Superb lounge – It has a lounge
Bijou – A tiny box room.
Cash-buyers only – No bank in its right mind would lend on this.
Cosy – No more than one person per room at a time.
Close to good schools – Can get there in ten minutes, if you drive like Lewis Hamilton.
Easily-maintained garden – Concrete as far as the eye can see.
Full of history – Doesn’t have electricity or running water.
Perfect for a first time buyer – We know you can’t afford to be choosy.
Popular area – I hope you like neighbours.
Put your own stamp on it – Half-built.
Renovation required – Watch your money magically disappear.
Pied-à-terre – Fancy French phrase for cosy.
Quirky – Nothing matches and the doors are 4ft high.
Reduced for a quick sale – There has been no interest
Recommended viewing – The pictures are horrible, aren’t they?
Fully fitted kitchen – Good news, you won’t need to provide your own sink
WC / bathroom – There’s a toilet, but we call it a WC because it makes it sound slightly more upmarket than saying the word toilet
Original features – Nothing has ever been repaired
An attractive mezzanine level – Odd space that’s totally impractical
Bags of potential – Do you have endless time, money and patience?

If I have missed any then please let me know.

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